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To sit with my Fey brothers. Although I will probably be skewered for it, there *does* seem to be an age, race, and assumed political positioning (these folks consider themselves liberals...).
I have thought about it, and it isn't that I cannot accept difference... but I do find it hard to accept people who are wantonly closed-minded and don't even recognize it. I mean, perhaps it is my limits -- how I am conceiving what a "Radical Faerie" is to me...
... it's like when I meet an Aquarian who is not unique or a maverick... this sense of acceptance, yes, but also let down.
Yes, dancing around what it really is because I don't want to get into a whole thing about something that doesn't matter. Just wondering: In your local communities, I am sure there are other Faeries that you find it hard to deal with sometimes. Maybe it's a personality thing or a philosophical thing... maybe it's old history or what have you. What I am wondering is... how do you manage to let go of how you are feeling (because no one can make you feel anything... you make yourself feel) without dropping the person from your consciousness and awareness (which is what I usually do when someone upsets me... Unfortunately, some people don't know how to stop being assholes even after you stick a finger in it to let them know they are more than that)?
We are so diverse... and yet, it's these... rather non-radical folks who aren't accepting of other people, different paths that really do me in. Maybe it is because I know how hard I have had to fight in order to keep myself open? (... it feels like a mirroring of something) No, it isn't that. I am a supporter of the underdog. And when someone starts trashing on people I consider to be underdogs -- like myself -- I become all metal and talon-y.
Not all faeries, whether radical or not (cuz as MoonSong pointed out to me, it IS like the "radical" part has been lost, are underdogs. Some faeries are quite immersed in the world of men (str8 men) and those values.... To each, right? But what I do not like seeing is when those values are turned against the have-nots from within.
I mean... sometimes, what we call ourselves is all we own. But perhaps that's something else.
Just tell me... how do you deal with the differences in RadFae community where it comes to reckless privilege having?
I have thought about it, and it isn't that I cannot accept difference... but I do find it hard to accept people who are wantonly closed-minded and don't even recognize it. I mean, perhaps it is my limits -- how I am conceiving what a "Radical Faerie" is to me...
... it's like when I meet an Aquarian who is not unique or a maverick... this sense of acceptance, yes, but also let down.
Yes, dancing around what it really is because I don't want to get into a whole thing about something that doesn't matter. Just wondering: In your local communities, I am sure there are other Faeries that you find it hard to deal with sometimes. Maybe it's a personality thing or a philosophical thing... maybe it's old history or what have you. What I am wondering is... how do you manage to let go of how you are feeling (because no one can make you feel anything... you make yourself feel) without dropping the person from your consciousness and awareness (which is what I usually do when someone upsets me... Unfortunately, some people don't know how to stop being assholes even after you stick a finger in it to let them know they are more than that)?
We are so diverse... and yet, it's these... rather non-radical folks who aren't accepting of other people, different paths that really do me in. Maybe it is because I know how hard I have had to fight in order to keep myself open? (... it feels like a mirroring of something) No, it isn't that. I am a supporter of the underdog. And when someone starts trashing on people I consider to be underdogs -- like myself -- I become all metal and talon-y.
Not all faeries, whether radical or not (cuz as MoonSong pointed out to me, it IS like the "radical" part has been lost, are underdogs. Some faeries are quite immersed in the world of men (str8 men) and those values.... To each, right? But what I do not like seeing is when those values are turned against the have-nots from within.
I mean... sometimes, what we call ourselves is all we own. But perhaps that's something else.
Just tell me... how do you deal with the differences in RadFae community where it comes to reckless privilege having?
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Re: Sometimes I find it hard
Sun, June 7, 2009 - 4:13 PMI guess you have a good reason to not be real specific about the issues or personalities and not knowing that information I will also be general in my response. I get the impression that what you are refering to here is a topic about which many are in denial. The topic is class defferences between faeries. Just as it is a fact that American society is a class divided society it is also an undeniable fact that thise class differences exist among those of us who identify as faeries. How this presents itself within the faerie community is that thise whi come from privileged backrounds assume they are in control and faerie events and organizations should reflect their privileged outlook. Some of them imagine themselves to be be superior to those of us who come from blue collar families and they assume they know better than us and manage to become the leaders of our organizations.
This situaton seems to be counter to where Harry Hay was coming from when he helped to found the faerie movement. Harry Hay identified with blue collar people. He was an active unionist and in his early life was a member of the Communist Party. Into his older years he supported union causes and supported progressive causes like the civil rights movement and the anti war movement. I am sure that if Harry were still with us he would be marching with the immigrants for amnesty and standing with the workers at Starbucks who are goung to unionize that company in coming years.
I don't know how we got to a point where thise who do not accepting of others have any influnce in our community. Maybe that sort of thing happens to any group that has existed for more than a couple of decades. Maybe we loose perspective of where we came from and groups and individuals become conservatized. I don't know how to return to our radical roots or make the faerie community comfortable for people from blue collar backrounds. Perhaps we need some discussions and heart circles where these issues can be honestly addressed and faeries can come to grips with the fact that class differences are real and do effect the faerie community. -
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Re: Sometimes I find it hard
Sun, June 7, 2009 - 4:34 PMHarold, thank you for your reply.
And being general works... because you have given voice to it.
When I think about it, it isn't just class, but all the Euroheteropatricocapitaandrocentric shit we swallow and reproduce. And I know there's more, but those come to mind rapidly.
I agree with what you say about Harry, although he may not have been marching at all, preferring his essence to transform him and therefore the spaces in which he moves. But when I conceive of "Radical Faeries", I think of a people trying to shed, if only in this space, all that shit that keeps us apart from each other... keeps us disconnecting when we want nothing more than TO connect.
It's the differences and how we occupy positions of power and privilege outside of Radical Faerie space and how it comes to inform the space because there is no... process through which people can return to their essence and not the assumed posture many of us take to live.
For many of us, who we are as Radical Faeries exist in fragmentation. I do feel gifted as a Radical Faerie of color who knows a little something and has frameworks from which to work... and yet who understands the value of really, truly being present and behaving from the Spirit that dwells within and not the considerations I have to make and consider to survive in the world of (ythet)men. ... and even there, I placate... because well, some things are a kind of reality in this constructed world... but I will tell you: At my first gathering, a sista (African-American-B/black female bodied and identifying lesbian) had to prepare me to hear the word "nigger." I forgot, until it finally happened. In a general silence except few mid-audible boos. When I dwelled on it, I realized... to me, Radical Faerie space means a space where I should not be able to ever hear that word... that word belongs to a very Mundane world.
I am a Radical Faerie because, well, I am pretty radical. Radically silly. Radically intense. Radically in-tune. Radically aware. Radically boring. Radically out-of-touch. Radically tunnel-visioned. However, I have expectations and desires... and that causes the difference, sometimes, to rear really strong. The regret that I feel I must remember who I am and who I am around in order to protect myself spiritually, psychically, emotionally, sexually. The regret when I must leave being in order to ward against the anger I am not interested in feeling towards someone bringing in the world we are all together to escape (so we can remember and create anew).
... I guess... it makes me feel really disheartened. -
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Re: Sometimes I find it hard
Sun, June 7, 2009 - 5:36 PMComintoit said; "At my first gathering, a sista (African-American-B/black female bodied and identifying lesbian) had to prepare me to hear the word "nigger." I forgot, until it finally happened. In a general silence except few mid-audible boos. When I dwelled on it, I realized... to me, Radical Faerie space means a space where I should not be able to ever hear that word... that word belongs to a very Mundane world."
I cannot imagine a faerie who used the "n" word to be allowed to stay at the gathering. When that happend at a faerie event I was at the racist faerie was given one warning. He said he "felt called" to use the word. We told him we felt called to send him away. There are some things we can say "whatever" and "to each their own," but blatent racism has no place among faeries.
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